Tag Archives: Bystanders

“Bully” 3

Accountability, Bully Free, Bullying, Bystanders, Education, Principals, Schools, Teachers • Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I was first in line to see it this morning. Initially, it looked like I would be the only one there, but thankfully a few more showed up.

Kindness Matters - Photo of My Car Magnet ©DelightfullyDifferentLife

Kindness Matters! It’s just one of the take away messages of the movie, Bully. It is the message that the kids need to get and that some are getting as they join in the cause to help prevent bullying and to support the victims.

There are more important messages for the adults!

  • Blaming the victim for not telling you is not acceptable especially if you gave them empty promises of protection in the past while they continued to be tormented.
  • Scolding them for not forgiving their tormentor is not helpful either.
  • Apathetic attitudes regarding the severity of the problem are not helpful.
  • Excusing meanness that does not result in bloody noses or broken bones is also inexcusable.

We see teachers, parents, principals, vice principals, law enforcement, and bus drivers letting kids down again and again. One child takes matters into her own hands and threatens her tormentors with a real gun. FYI one boy had threatened to sexually assault this teenager, so it is not like she had not been threatened. I do not condone taking a gun to school, but I do understand why she did it, and I found the sheriff to be offensive when he said that she had no cause for this action because she had not been physically assaulted. He thinks she should be locked up for a hundred years despite the fact that the gun wasn’t fired, and she had never been in trouble previously. You’ll find out her fate if you watch the movie.

I merely hope schools will encourage their staff and students to see the movie.

Dateline Confronts Bullying Behavior? 6

Birds, Bullying, Bystanders, Dateline • Tags: , , ,

Myna BirdsMyna birds squawk and sound like they are trying to cause trouble in many backyards in Hawaii, and they seem to travel in pairs like some bullies, so I am using them as my bully picture of the day.

I’m not sure how many of you watched Dateline Sunday night, “My Kids Would Never…Bully” after I tweeted it on Friday, but I watched it and loved it.  Two of the bystanders were very brave and spoke up and defended the victim and then continued to defend the victim when the bullying got worse.  Yay Lilly and Isaiah!!!!!!!  Others joined in once one person spoke up.  We really need more of this.  Others also made efforts to support the victim, but some were not forceful enough for it to make a difference.  Bystanders really can make a difference when they are firm and persistent!!!!

I also loved that they emphasized that adults set the tone and actually showed how bad coaching or really any bad authority figure can contribute to escalating bullying and more people joining the bully.  Of note, one girl, who admitted liking Gossip Girl style was easily pulled into joining the bullies.  This brings home a point I made in a previous posts about watching mean girl shows.  You can read it here.  One of the boys was also drawn into helping the bullies, but this was after the bad example set by the “coach” of observing the bullying and then not doing anything to help and in fact making it worse.

Another nice thing they did that I love is they gave links to sites with more information to take action against the bullying.  I also love that Rosalind Wiseman emphasized the importance of the bystander speaking up and being assertive and firm rather than being kind when confronting the bully.  The guy from the Hetrick-Martin Institute also pointed out that calling someone “gay” has become the new way to bully even when the victim is not “gay.”   This happens on sports teams and at school.

The resources they listed are:  http://rosalindwiseman.com

http://hmi.org  (This is the Hetrick-Martin Institute who were also on the show to help.)

http://glsen.org (The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network)

http://thetrevorproject.org

Do you have examples of bad teachers, coaches, parents, or other adults contributing to the bullying?

The Right Way to Prevent Bullying

Bullying, Schools • Tags: , , ,
Purchased Clipart Collection Version 1.2 (2.2) Copyright ©Macmanus. All rights reserved.

Purchased Clipart Collection Version 1.2 (2.2) Copyright ©Macmanus. All rights reserved.

Today’s title is linked to a story from Valhalla, New York:http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=7772087

It is about triplets who started a program to educate younger kids in how to prevent bullying. I strongly advise you to watch this. All schools need to encourage more programs like this one. I hope when colleges look at community service, they give these seniors bonus points because they are examples of upstanders.

I love school systems that encourage older children to look out for younger ones. The seniors told the middle school children things that were important, like that threatening and harassing text messages should be reported to their parents and to the police. They also taught them that bystanders could and should speak up, as they make a difference. This is the type of message that needs to be given more often. Schools programs that teach children how to be good citizens and what laws can be used to protect themselves are so needed today. I hope you will help to pass this message on to others.