The woman in the mirror? It is complicated.
I continue to forgive others and myself for human flaws as I examine the woman in the mirror.
I gave one of the three speeches at my high school graduation for the theme entitled, “I Am a Part of All I Have Met …” My part was “The School.” I opened my speech with a quote that still applies to my life today.
The true purpose of education is to cherish and unfold the seed of immortality already sown within us; to develop, to their fullest extent, the capacities of every kind with which the God who made us has endowed us. — Anna Brownell Jameson
I truly am a part of all that I have met and I continue to learn and develop that seed of immortality as I continue to learn from all of the lessons life offers me. I aspire to live a life guided by the teachings of Jesus, Siddhārtha Gautama, Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Teresa of Avila, Kuan Yin, etc. I want to be more like those I admire in more modern times like the His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, Pope John Paul II, Rabbi Albert Lewis, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr. and so many others who inspire me to be a better person.
You might have noticed the woman in the mirror is surrounded by Asian decor. It is a part of me now too as it is a part of my husband and children. Yet, I am still influenced by my southern roots in the Bible belt. And, I am influenced by the Jesuit university I attended. Thus, I am a complicated woman with complicated beliefs.
I find myself drawn to many of the Buddhist teachings and I find parallels between the lives of Jesus and Siddhārtha Gautama. I likewise find parallels between Kuan Yin and some Christian saints along with Mother Mary. The thing I note that they all have in common is a desire for a more peaceful world beginning with inner peace. This too is my desire.
Beautiful Blog Quotation—BBQ was started by Kozo at Everyday Gurus. It is a way to honor other bloggers who inspire us with their writing and to quote something they said that touched our hearts and/ or inspired us.
EJ at Becoming a Writer wrote a post for Bloggers for Peace in November that definitely struck a chord for me.
Nevertheless, hating my emotions is about as useful as hating my freckles, or hating my ear lobes.
I am learning to channel those fearful, doubting thoughts – and to value them. Without them, in a strange way, I’d never have written anything. Emotions are what make writers write, or painters paint, or singers sing.
I certainly would not have written my first novel without being pushed by my emotions. So ______ and ______, I forgive you and continue to pray for true healing for all involved. Mahalo for making my longtime dream of writing a novel come true, and mahalo for helping M. to finish songs she began writing long ago.
Sending healing light and God’s love for true forgiveness.
You are a blur to protect you.
I’m really trying to believe you have changed. I see signs that you have, but I am skeptical where both of you are concerned. I have believed in you in the past only to watch you crush my daughter’s spirit. She will be okay in the long run. I know because she is stronger than she seems. After all, she is my daughter.
Still, forgiving those who almost destroyed her is not an easy task especially when she has never received a sincere apology from either of you. One of you flatly refused to give her what she needs to heal more quickly. The other one tried to convince others that she made things sound worse than they really were. I know this is not true and so do you if you are honest with yourself.
Yet, I also know that she and I need to forgive you to heal ourselves even if your changes are only surface deep. Perhaps that is the only change you are capable of making right now. I do not know. I am merely grateful that you are both out of our lives.
The most important thing I have learned from our experience is that we are all connected. Of, course, I know we do not appear to be as connected as either one of you, but in this web of life, we are. That is why I will continue to ask God to help me to learn to truly forgive you, and I pray you both continue to grow in true understanding of others. I especially pray that you no longer perceive anyone as not worthy of you.
My Prayer Journal
In November of 2011, I shared a post, Awaiting Answers to Prayers, during a low point. I know God heard and answered that prayer, and I am so grateful for the way he answered. A delightfully different angel helped return love and joy to my family. Yet, I am still working on forgiving others and trying to be as kind as I want the world to be. That is why I feel compelled to share today’s prayer with you.
Please help me to forgive easily,
To be kind and to reward others’ kindness,
To see the world through eyes of love,
To share joy,
And to always be grateful for the journey of life.