Groups Set Aside Days for Forgiveness and Today Is One of Those Days 4

Luke 6 verse 35 – 37

Do you have someone you need to forgive? You already know I do if you have looked at my Forgiveness and Gratitude page at the top of my blog. And, what better day to forgive or at least to work on forgiving than Global Forgiveness Day?

Apparently, there are multiple dates set aside for forgiveness including International Forgiveness Day, the first Sunday of August. While doing research for this post, I found conflicting information about Global Forgiveness Day. An article at the Huffington Post stated Global Forgiveness Day was on July seventh; so forgive me if I have the wrong date.

My Bible

The exact date is probably less important than actually forgiving. The problem is how do we truly forgive? I am not going to rehash my prior posts since you can read them from the link above if you choose.

Instead, I want you to read a post from my friend, Phil Dzialo, Moving from Apology to Forgiveness to Closure … It Can Happen! He and his family found some closure after their experience with their son’s near drowning while at a summer day camp. He mentions a book, On Apology, by Dr. Aaron Lazare in his post. It is a book I highly recommend as I have been reading it upon Phil’s suggestion. It has helped me to understand there are times when we need an apology to help us to continue healing.

However, there are also times when you can learn to forgive without actually receiving an apology as noted in my prior posts about Dr. Frederic Luskin’s book, Forgive for Good. This seems to work better when the offense is in the past. However, even then it does not always work. This is especially true if you keep hearing stories about how great the people who offended you are. Imagine hearing this when you know that they really have not changed.

This is when an apology becomes extremely important. Otherwise it is too easy to get lost in anger, and that is not a good thing. Anger consumes you rather than those with whom you remain angry.

Photo taken at the FDR Memorial in Washington, D. C.

Gratitude for a Perfect Day 8

img_2773.jpg ©delightfullydifferentlife.com

Footprints in the Sand

I am moving forward and taking positive steps to get back on track. I am taking time to continue rehabbing my back from an injury I sustained in May. I am supporting my daughter as she works towards overcoming the past hurts from those who wounded her soul and let her down. That is why I am sometimes MIA.

I realize my gratitude posts have been sparse lately, yet I am still focusing on gratitude and forgiveness. Today, I am most grateful for the blessings in my life. I received a wonderful review of Delightfully Different from Lorna at Special Needs Book Review. Just click on the blog name to check it out if you haven’t already. I am also grateful for my readers, my family and my friends.

Another thing I am grateful for is that I get to take care of my health by taking long walks three to four times a week. It is one of the good things about living in Hawaii. I started slowly using my walking poles and leaving my dogs at home. A month later, I got my son to take one dog while I took the other one with one walking pole. Another month has gone by, and I now walk both dogs using one walking pole for added balance. I take my camera in a small backpack and stop and photograph nature along the way. We even walk to the beach occasionally although it is not my corgi’s cup of tea.

©Delightfully Different Life

©Delightfully Different Life

Yesterday was one of our walking days. We stopped at this beach because I knew I could take pictures from above without having to actually walk on beach. Thus, my corgi stayed happy.

I last visited this beach when my daughter was in preschool some years ago. They were learning about tide pools and this beach is ideal for that. The school bus was able to drive to the beach to drop us off and to come back to pick us up which is very important when you are taking four-year olds to the beach.

However, there is no parking at this beach as it is in a residual area, and it is not really the best beach for swimming. Still, it is beautiful and the surfers love it. It is the prefect place to quietly observe if you are not swimming. Yesterday Mother Nature gave me the best Valentine’s present by allowing me to see this.

Mother Nature's Valentine ©DelightfullyDifferentLife

Mother Nature’s Valentine ©DelightfullyDifferentLife

I know it is hard to see, but it is a humpback whale breaching. I never wished I had more than 200 zoom more than yesterday. Still, l am not complaining! Just getting to see this made my day. Until yesterday, the only whales I have seen on Oahu were from a boat.

Taken During Whale Watching Tour ©DelightfullyDifferentLife

Taken During Whale Watching Tour ©DelightfullyDifferentLife

Then, after I got home I got these from hubby.

Hope all of you had a happy Valentine’s Day! I would love to hear about how you spent your day.

Still Working on Forgiveness and Emotional Healing 5

I did not plan to do a post today, but I find I need to write. Yesterday was all about fun. Still, in the mist of having a good time with good friends, my anger about the bullying surfaced. I saw someone who triggered it. She wasn’t mean to my daughter, she was merely a bystander, so by all rights she does not deserve my anger, and I am not really angry at her.

Yet, somehow seeing anyone from that year, except for my daughter’s two closest friends, brings back the pain. Maybe it is because my daughter does not feel like she can go places for fear of running into those who hurt her.

Yesterday helped me to understand how she feels and why. Honolulu is a big city in some ways, but Oahu is still a small island and it is nearly impossible to avoid seeing someone who knows you when you venture out. Maybe if we were completely healed from the emotional pain this would not be a problem. Unfortunately, we are not healed.

This week I have begun to understand why. You see others do not understand our pain. The school has never apologized to my daughter for letting her down. They do not realize this causes her to suffer more. I suspect their reasoning is related to fear of being sued. This is the way society functions. No one admits their mistakes and takes accountability for them because of this fear.

We deny responsibility for our actions to protect our reputations and our finances. Doing the right thing rarely comes into play. Yet, if we did the right thing instead of fearing the outcome, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

Studies show that people do not sue those they like, so as individuals shouldn’t we work to become a likeable person? Shouldn’t companies and schools do the same thing? If we all did the right thing, couldn’t we avoid lawsuits and have a happier society?

I have to overcome my anger and contact my daughter’s former school and ask them for an apology and ask them to let me help educate them about ways they can avoid repeating mistakes they made with my daughter. I have to offer forgiveness too, so I can heal. I owe this to my daughter. It is time to truly heal the deep wound instead of letting it continue to fester.

Please come back tomorrow for a second guest post from Signe Whitson on bullying that includes some ways to help the bullied child. Please support the families who lost a loved one and the survivors of bullying. Send them an e-mail, a card, etc. letting them know you support them. Little gestures mean so much!

Bringing It All Together 9

This year I am scaling back. I will continue to be on Twitter and I will continue to post my blogs to Facebook. However, I need more time to take care of my health, to spend with my family and to work on my second novel, and I need to focus more on forgiveness and gratitude.

I am not giving up on my dreams for acceptance of differences and bully free schools. I will address the tough issues on this blog by bringing you stories of those who are helping, rather than the sad stories that the news media uses to hype up your emotions for a day or two. I also hope to do some presentations and to exhibit at some local venues this year.

I will be adding a couple of new pages to my blog, one for featured stories and one for my progress on my next novel, a topic I started addressing on my second blog. Maintaining two blogs is not working, so I plan to move my posts from my second blog to this blog.

Mahalo for your continued support as I make these changes.