Mahalo to everyone who participated in today’s Tweet chat #bfvllgesupprt. Everyone who retweeted today helped make my day. Your contribution is invaluable. Please continue to use the hashtag on Twitter. Remember when it comes to support every little thing you do matters.
Should we teach children to use physical force to fight bullies when comebacks have failed? Would you be okay with your child using physical force if he needed to protect himself from harm? Are you aware that fighting back does not always stop bullies? What will you do if the school suspends your child for protecting himself? Would you fight the school’s decision? What if you ….
Yes, I saw bystanders speaking up work on “Dateline” too. Honestly, none of those children on the show had to see each other the next day. They were all from different places. My daughter did standup to bullies. That is how she became a target during the worse year of her young life. We all have to speak out and support others who do too. Fighting bullying is not a one man, a one woman, a one child, a one organization, or even a one movie or one book operation. It really does take a village. Please become part of the village.
Most of us know some variation of the famous line by George Santayana, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Yet, we keep repeating past mistakes again and again.
Those We Admire
Most of us admire people like His Holiness, the fourteen Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr. and others who showed the world that there are gentler solutions to problems facing society. So, why do we continue to support meanness by failing to speak up when we see it and when we know it is wrong? How can we teach our children to learn from their mistakes if we fail as citizens of the world to learn from ours?
You may be asking yourself, “What mistakes?” Only you can answer for yourself. Let your heart be your guide.
I firmly believe mistakes are our best teachers. I hope so anyway since I have made more than I like. However, this post is about our future, our children.
The Way We Fail
We are failing the next generation when we say things like:
- What’s the big deal?
- Bullying has been around forever.
- Kids will be kids.
- That kid had it coming!
- That kid is strange!
- Don’t play with that kid!
- I don’t like their parents.
When we say:
- The school is responsible.
- The parents are responsible.
- I blame the Internet.
- I blame social media.
- That kid just needs a spanking!
- That kid should be expelled!
- Those parents should be sued!
When we are silent.
The truth is everyone in society plays a part. Look around you! Work toward becoming a more compassionate person and setting a better example for our children by speaking up when your heart says:
- This does not feel right!
- Why would this be okay?
- Should we really do that?
- What happened to liberty and justice for all? That is what it says right? Not liberty for the majority, or just some, or just the ones who are like us?
Make a Difference
Refuse to believe those who say:
- What can I do?
- I’m just one person!
- No one will listen to me!
- What is the point?
Here’s what you can do if you do not trust your own voice:
- Support those in your community who speak out if you are not comfortable speaking out yourself.
- Contact someone you admire who is speaking out and let them know that you are grateful for their voice.
- Tell your children why it is important to speak out and to back up other children who speak up if they do not feel they can do it themselves.
Inspiring Quotes From Those We Admire
Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. This is not just a dream, but a necessity. ~ Dalai Lama XIV
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~ Dalai Lama XIV
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. ~Nelson Mandela
There is no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children. ~Nelson Mandela
I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ~Mother Teresa
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. ~Mother Teresa
Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., The Purpose of Education
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.’ ~Martin Luther King, Jr., I Have a Dream, 1963
Da’Nile is more than a river in Egypt! It is a common saying although I added the Hawaiian lingo Da’ for the. Despite support from many around the country, the movie, Bully is only showing in one small theater on Oahu and the media coverage here is appalling. This is despite the fact that a 2008 study showed that Hawaii ranks high in teen suicides and PBS Hawaii noted in 2010 that Hawaii teenagers attempted suicide at more than twice the national average.
The seemly lack of response to Bully and to the victims of bullying by some in our country is disturbing, but it is especially so in Hawaii. Does the media assume that when the DOE released their anti-bullying program in October that this magically solved the problem? I cannot place my finger on the cause. It could be the fact that too many see that the movie does not give solutions to the problem and many have problems with this.
I did too until I realized how much information the Bully Project put together on their site to help solve the problem. I am not linking you directly because the site uses index flash and takes a while to load. It it better for you to go to the site directly. Go to http://thebullyproject.com/ and click Get Tools & Resources to find a wealth of information for parents, students, educators, and advocates that includes guides to help teachers and others use the movie as a starting point for teaching students kindness and empathy. There is much more information too about setting up school programs to address the problem.
Apathetic behavior and failure of those in charge of our schools to accept accountability is a big part of the bullying problem in my humble opinion. It is the thing that still angers me when I think of what my daughter went through. It is a greater danger than anything else. It is only when teenagers feel all hope is lost that they turn to suicide, and it is the apathetic attitudes of the adults in our schools that lead them down this path.
I cannot get my daughter’s former school to apologize to her anymore than I can get others to understand this. Still there is hope. Thankfully there are others who are making a difference. The Dalai Lama visited one local school during his recent visit and honored them for playing a part in making the world a better place. Read about it: Aloha, Dalai Lama – MidWeek.