Category Archives: Differences

Life? Do We Learn From Our Past or Are We Condemned to Repeat It? 2

Bully Free, Differences, Education, Famous Quotes, Gratitude, Inspiring People, Life Lessons, Parenting, Setting Good Examples for Our Children • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Quote

Most of us know some variation of the famous line by George Santayana, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Yet, we keep repeating past mistakes again and again.

Those We Admire

Most of us admire people like His Holiness, the fourteen Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr. and others who showed the world that there are gentler solutions to problems facing society. So, why do we continue to support meanness by failing to speak up when we see it and when we know it is wrong? How can we teach our children to learn from their mistakes if we fail as citizens of the world to learn from ours?

Mistakes

You may be asking yourself, “What mistakes?” Only you can answer for yourself. Let your heart be your guide.

I firmly believe mistakes are our best teachers. I hope so anyway since I have made more than I like. However, this post is about our future, our children.

The Way We Fail

We are failing the next generation when we say things like:

  • What’s the big deal?
  • Bullying has been around forever.
  • Kids will be kids.
  • That kid had it coming!
  • That kid is strange!
  • Don’t play with that kid!
  • I don’t like their parents.

or

When we say:

  • The school is responsible.
  • The parents are responsible.
  • I blame the Internet.
  • I blame social media.
  • That kid just needs a spanking!
  • That kid should be expelled!
  • Those parents should be sued!

or

When we are silent.

The Truth

The truth is everyone in society plays a part. Look around you! Work toward becoming a more compassionate person and setting a better example for our children by speaking up when your heart says:

  • This does not feel right!
  • Why would this be okay?
  • Should we really do that?
  • What happened to liberty and justice for all? That is what it says right? Not liberty for the majority, or just some, or just the ones who are like us?

Make a Difference

Refuse to believe those who say:

  • What can I do?
  • I’m just one person!
  • No one will listen to me!
  • What is the point?

Here’s what you can do if you do not trust your own voice:

  • Support those in your community who speak out if you are not comfortable speaking out yourself.
  • Contact someone you admire who is speaking out and let them know that you are grateful for their voice.
  • Tell your children why it is important to speak out and to back up other children who speak up if they do not feel they can do it themselves.

Inspiring Quotes From Those We Admire

Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. This is not just a dream, but a necessity.  ~ Dalai Lama XIV

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.  ~ Dalai Lama XIV

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.  ~Nelson Mandela

There is no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children. ~Nelson Mandela

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.  ~Mother Teresa

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.  ~Mother Teresa

Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education.  ~Martin Luther King, Jr., The Purpose of Education

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.’  ~Martin Luther King, Jr., I Have a Dream, 1963

Thoughts! 17

Differences, Education, Employers • Tags:

Thoughts ran through my head this morning. I have deep thoughts about why our children are falling behind and about why we are seeing increases in psychological and neurological diagnoses. My thoughts result from my individual experiences and from things I have read and observed over my fifty-four years.

What about You?

Have you noticed that schools, employers, and most organizations have moved from individual accomplishments to group accomplishments? Yet, historically is it individuals or groups that we recognize as world’s great inventors, scientists, mathematicians, composers, and artists?

Historically

Historically farmers tended to the crops and animals on land they owned or leased. Family stores and businesses were the norm. Previously employers judged employees by their individual accomplishments not by how the people they sat or stood next to performed. Their co-workers did not determine hiring or their wages.

Today

Today we judge others by a different standard and everyone has a vote on how everyone else performs. Even doctors in private practice are not immune since some insurance companies now determine reimbursement by surveys they send to patients. Ironically, it is not just about patient outcomes, it includes how well you like your doctor and his staff. People judge this based on whether or not the receptionist smiles or on how quickly the receptionist answers the phone, etc. It makes it easy to gang up on those who are not exactly like us or people we do not like for whatever reason.

It starts early too! Our children have more and more group projects and their classmates weigh in on how much they contributed. Imagine being different in middle school and having to deal with this scenario!

What Do You Think?

How well do those who are brilliant, but not liked do? Do they learn to play the games to fit in? Or do they turn inward and become depressed, anxious, moody, or maybe even aggressive?

What do you think? Could I be on to something here?

Three Voices of Inspiration: Promoting Accommodation, Acceptance and Appreciation of Differences 3

Abilities & Diversity, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism Spectrum, Differences, Education, Friendships, Girls on Autism Spectrum, Special Needs • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

What is Inspiration? The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines inspiration as “the act or power of moving the intellect or emotions.” People who work to change the world to a place where we appreciate differences inspire others. They accept the challenge to heal society of its wrongs. They raise their voices to educate others as they work to forgive them for their lack of understanding.

I am among the privileged that heard voices of inspiration recently at the Pacific Rim International Conference on Disabilities & Diversity. Their voices made me realize that they are not the ones disabled; society’s treatment of them gives this illusion. The truth is anyone who fails to see others soul to soul is far more disabled than anyone we call “disabled.” Society is wasting brilliant minds by failing to see this.

There was so much inspiration in one place! Three of the voices that inspired me the most were Keith P. Jones of Soul Touchin, Drew Goldsmith of IamNorm.org, a site that no longer exists, and Laura Nagle of the documentary, Vectors of Autism.

Keith P. Jones has cerebral palsy, but please do not feel sorry for him. He is one of the best voices for advocacy I have ever had the privilege to hear. He gave his presentation to a standing room only crowd while he cracked jokes and told how he handles those who inappropriately invade his personal space. Hint: Never ever ask to pray for him and then pray for the “sins of his mother.” His mother did not cause his cerebral palsy and she is no sinner!

Drew Goldsmith turns sixteen this month, but he has already accomplished much in his young life, so please No Pity when you learn that he is autistic. Not only is he a film creator, he also started a website, “I am Norm” to educate others and change the perception of others about being “normal.” I love this young man and wish him all the best in the future. I know he can go far if society allows him to do so.

Laura Nagle is an Aspie woman who prefers being called an Aspie instead of Autistic because, “That man (Hans Asperger) got us.” I am proud to call her my friend. She found me on Twitter months ago and identified me as a “half-Aspie”, a term I have come to love. The movie Vectors of Autism premiers April 13th in Flagstaff, AZ on the NAU campus. She talks about how society holds people back much more than anything else does. She wants to heal society as do I. She does not like using the word disability and I understand completely. She and other adults give parents a better understanding of Aspie and autistic children in a way that no one else can.

Broken Kids Are Breaking All of Us 4

Bully Free, Bullying, Differences • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

By Annie Fox

This post was originally published on Annie Fox’s blog on October 2, 2010 and is republished here with her permission. I hope you value her views as much as I do. Mahalo Annie!

Yesterday my friend Rachel wrote to find out if I’d blogged yet about the cyberbullying incident that ended in a Rutgers University freshman killing himself. I told her the news had really depressed me but that I didn’t have any insights that couldn’t be found elsewhere. I mean what do you say when (yet another) teen is so victimized by bullies he/she can’t figure out what the hell to do to make things OK again and gives up everything just to end the suffering? I’ve got nothing to say. I’m sitting here crying. The casualness with which these acts of torment are perpetrated absolutely stuns me. But what else is new?

So, no.  I wasn’t going to write anything.

Then I watched Ellen Degeneres on video talking about this senseless act of cruelty. Looking straight at the camera and with obvious emotion Ellen said, “It’s hard enough being a teen and figuring out who you are without people attacking you.” To the adults watching she said, “There are messages everywhere that validate this kind of bullying and taunting and we have to make it stop.” And to the kids watching, she offered this, “…things will get easier. People’s minds will change and you should be alive to see it.”

Still I was not going to blog about what happened to Tyler Clementi and what he did as a result. Even though his death was the fourth in a string of Welcome Back-to-School homophobic attacks on teens that ended in suicide. It all sucks, but what more is there to say?

Then I listened to Justin Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center, a clearinghouse of information dedicated to providing information about  ”…the nature, extent, causes and consequences of cyberbullying amongst adolescents.” Patchin told NPR’s Melissa Block that when he speaks to teens who use their phones and computers to commit these acts of intentional cruelty they “genuinely do not realize that harm could come from it.” He went on to say that these kids “don’t see it as something wrong.” Rather, they think of what they’re doing as “fun or funny” and “not that big of a deal.”

That’s when I knew I needed to write. The tormentors don’t see it as something wrong?! For real?!! If that’s the case then we’re looking at a whole lot of broken kids. Broken in a way that prevents them from thinking beyond the itch of “Hey I got a great idea!” So broken they blithely launch a personally addressed cluster bomb packed with malice and truly believe it’s “not a big deal.”

With kids like that as our only hope for the future we ‘d be in deep doodoo.

Fortunately, these aren’t the only kids out there. There are plenty of kids and adults who aren’t buying into the notion that any of this is fun or funny. They’re deadly serious about fighting back, supporting each other and changing the Culture of Cruelty for any kid, tween or teen who’s catching flak for being different. GLBT teens, check out Dan Savage’s new “It Gets Better” project.

Oh, and by the way, October is National Bullying Prevention Month… Don’t just sit there, be part of the solution.

Annie Fox, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, app developer, and youth empowerment activist. Her books include Too Stressed to Think? and the Middle School Confidential series.  Learn more about Annie’s work with students, parents and teachers at http://anniefox.com