Category Archives: Bystanders

Movie May Encourage Bullies 4

Accountability, Bullying, Bystanders, Movies, Parenting, Principals • Tags: , , ,

I am watching Cyberbully, but I cannot help but wonder if it will cause harm instead of helping.  I hope not, but other movies and shows actually contributed to the bullying problem.  I know from talking to other parents that too many are clueless as to what their children do online. We have friends who have no clue about Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sites.

There are parents like Lindsey’s father in the movie who also believe their child has the “right” to harass others online. It really upsets me that this character is an attorney.  An attorney should know that harassment is against the law in all fifty states even the ones without specific bullying laws. Hawaii is one of the states without a bullying law, but our harassment law does offer some protection against cyberbullying. The principal’s excuse that the school has no responsibility does not hold true in most states anymore either especially when the child is being openly harassed at school in relation to the Internet posting.  

I hope others watched until the end at least!  They finally show the power of bystanders at the end of the movie.  I wish they has focused on this throughout the movie.  I hope this is the message that sticks!  

Did you watch?  What did you think? 

Education Instead of Force for Real Change 4

Bullying, Bystanders, Movies, Principals, Teachers, Tolerence • Tags: , , ,

Purchased Clip Art Collection Version 1.0 Copyright 2012 Macmanus. All Rights Reserved.

Reasons I Love That’s What I Am

There are so many things I love about the movie, That’s What I Am. My favorite part is when Mr. Simon writes this on the chalk board: Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace. Another wonderful part is when Stanley says, “I can’t make them be nice people and even if I did there would be others to take their place.”  The movie also makes the point that success is about timing, opportunity, and choices. 

Education for Real Change

I hope and pray more people will become tolerant and accepting of differences, but I cannot force them to do this. The best I can do is to continue to try to educate and pray that the message touches hearts. Words said because of fear are just words. Words said because of true change mean so much more.   

I am grateful that this movie reminded me of this. I am also grateful for others who continue to understand that education is so much more powerful than any form of violence will ever be. 

Gratitude for All Who Help

Thank God for all of those who try to make change by living good examples and by educating without cramming information down other’s throats. Thank God for the good teachers who truly inspire. May there be more of them in this world! 

The Boy Who Fought Back 10

Bullying, Bystanders, Viral Videos • Tags: , ,

No, I am not posting this video.  Too many others have posted it already.  The boy from Australia who fought back admits he finally snapped from bullying.  He is not a hero, but he deserves understanding and compassion.  He had experienced repeated acts of bullying before this video went viral.

I certainly understand why he snapped.  I also get why so many think he is a hero.  I am proud of this young man for gaining control after he threw the bully.  He did not keep attacking the bully although he could have.  For the record, his father does not believe violence is the answer, nor do I.

You can see a video that includes the boy’s explanation of why he snapped, and comments from his older sister and his dad, as well as copies of doctored versions of the video that went to multiple countries, by clicking on the link below to Alan Eisenberg’s blog.  I hope you will comment at Alan’s blog and then return here.

Video of Boy Who Fights Back Against Bully « Bullying Stories.

What is the answer?  I still believe the answer is getting bystanders to help and I still believe schools need to reward them for reporting bullying and for standing up to the bullies.  I also believe the bully needs help so they can learn to treat others with respect.  We need programs that rehabilitate the bully.  They then need to give back by teaching the importance of respecting others to their peers as a form of community service.     

Dateline Confronts Bullying Behavior? 6

Birds, Bullying, Bystanders, Dateline • Tags: , , ,

Myna BirdsMyna birds squawk and sound like they are trying to cause trouble in many backyards in Hawaii, and they seem to travel in pairs like some bullies, so I am using them as my bully picture of the day.

I’m not sure how many of you watched Dateline Sunday night, “My Kids Would Never…Bully” after I tweeted it on Friday, but I watched it and loved it.  Two of the bystanders were very brave and spoke up and defended the victim and then continued to defend the victim when the bullying got worse.  Yay Lilly and Isaiah!!!!!!!  Others joined in once one person spoke up.  We really need more of this.  Others also made efforts to support the victim, but some were not forceful enough for it to make a difference.  Bystanders really can make a difference when they are firm and persistent!!!!

I also loved that they emphasized that adults set the tone and actually showed how bad coaching or really any bad authority figure can contribute to escalating bullying and more people joining the bully.  Of note, one girl, who admitted liking Gossip Girl style was easily pulled into joining the bullies.  This brings home a point I made in a previous posts about watching mean girl shows.  You can read it here.  One of the boys was also drawn into helping the bullies, but this was after the bad example set by the “coach” of observing the bullying and then not doing anything to help and in fact making it worse.

Another nice thing they did that I love is they gave links to sites with more information to take action against the bullying.  I also love that Rosalind Wiseman emphasized the importance of the bystander speaking up and being assertive and firm rather than being kind when confronting the bully.  The guy from the Hetrick-Martin Institute also pointed out that calling someone “gay” has become the new way to bully even when the victim is not “gay.”   This happens on sports teams and at school.

The resources they listed are:  http://rosalindwiseman.com

http://hmi.org  (This is the Hetrick-Martin Institute who were also on the show to help.)

http://glsen.org (The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network)

http://thetrevorproject.org

Do you have examples of bad teachers, coaches, parents, or other adults contributing to the bullying?