Three Voices of Inspiration: Promoting Accommodation, Acceptance and Appreciation of Differences 3

Abilities & Diversity, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism Spectrum, Differences, Education, Friendships, Girls on Autism Spectrum, Special Needs • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

What is Inspiration? The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines inspiration as “the act or power of moving the intellect or emotions.” People who work to change the world to a place where we appreciate differences inspire others. They accept the challenge to heal society of its wrongs. They raise their voices to educate others as they work to forgive them for their lack of understanding.

I am among the privileged that heard voices of inspiration recently at the Pacific Rim International Conference on Disabilities & Diversity. Their voices made me realize that they are not the ones disabled; society’s treatment of them gives this illusion. The truth is anyone who fails to see others soul to soul is far more disabled than anyone we call “disabled.” Society is wasting brilliant minds by failing to see this.

There was so much inspiration in one place! Three of the voices that inspired me the most were Keith P. Jones of Soul Touchin, Drew Goldsmith of IamNorm.org, a site that no longer exists, and Laura Nagle of the documentary, Vectors of Autism.

Keith P. Jones has cerebral palsy, but please do not feel sorry for him. He is one of the best voices for advocacy I have ever had the privilege to hear. He gave his presentation to a standing room only crowd while he cracked jokes and told how he handles those who inappropriately invade his personal space. Hint: Never ever ask to pray for him and then pray for the “sins of his mother.” His mother did not cause his cerebral palsy and she is no sinner!

Drew Goldsmith turns sixteen this month, but he has already accomplished much in his young life, so please No Pity when you learn that he is autistic. Not only is he a film creator, he also started a website, “I am Norm” to educate others and change the perception of others about being “normal.” I love this young man and wish him all the best in the future. I know he can go far if society allows him to do so.

Laura Nagle is an Aspie woman who prefers being called an Aspie instead of Autistic because, “That man (Hans Asperger) got us.” I am proud to call her my friend. She found me on Twitter months ago and identified me as a “half-Aspie”, a term I have come to love. The movie Vectors of Autism premiers April 13th in Flagstaff, AZ on the NAU campus. She talks about how society holds people back much more than anything else does. She wants to heal society as do I. She does not like using the word disability and I understand completely. She and other adults give parents a better understanding of Aspie and autistic children in a way that no one else can.

Broken Kids Are Breaking All of Us 4

Bully Free, Bullying, Differences • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

By Annie Fox

This post was originally published on Annie Fox’s blog on October 2, 2010 and is republished here with her permission. I hope you value her views as much as I do. Mahalo Annie!

Yesterday my friend Rachel wrote to find out if I’d blogged yet about the cyberbullying incident that ended in a Rutgers University freshman killing himself. I told her the news had really depressed me but that I didn’t have any insights that couldn’t be found elsewhere. I mean what do you say when (yet another) teen is so victimized by bullies he/she can’t figure out what the hell to do to make things OK again and gives up everything just to end the suffering? I’ve got nothing to say. I’m sitting here crying. The casualness with which these acts of torment are perpetrated absolutely stuns me. But what else is new?

So, no.  I wasn’t going to write anything.

Then I watched Ellen Degeneres on video talking about this senseless act of cruelty. Looking straight at the camera and with obvious emotion Ellen said, “It’s hard enough being a teen and figuring out who you are without people attacking you.” To the adults watching she said, “There are messages everywhere that validate this kind of bullying and taunting and we have to make it stop.” And to the kids watching, she offered this, “…things will get easier. People’s minds will change and you should be alive to see it.”

Still I was not going to blog about what happened to Tyler Clementi and what he did as a result. Even though his death was the fourth in a string of Welcome Back-to-School homophobic attacks on teens that ended in suicide. It all sucks, but what more is there to say?

Then I listened to Justin Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center, a clearinghouse of information dedicated to providing information about  ”…the nature, extent, causes and consequences of cyberbullying amongst adolescents.” Patchin told NPR’s Melissa Block that when he speaks to teens who use their phones and computers to commit these acts of intentional cruelty they “genuinely do not realize that harm could come from it.” He went on to say that these kids “don’t see it as something wrong.” Rather, they think of what they’re doing as “fun or funny” and “not that big of a deal.”

That’s when I knew I needed to write. The tormentors don’t see it as something wrong?! For real?!! If that’s the case then we’re looking at a whole lot of broken kids. Broken in a way that prevents them from thinking beyond the itch of “Hey I got a great idea!” So broken they blithely launch a personally addressed cluster bomb packed with malice and truly believe it’s “not a big deal.”

With kids like that as our only hope for the future we ‘d be in deep doodoo.

Fortunately, these aren’t the only kids out there. There are plenty of kids and adults who aren’t buying into the notion that any of this is fun or funny. They’re deadly serious about fighting back, supporting each other and changing the Culture of Cruelty for any kid, tween or teen who’s catching flak for being different. GLBT teens, check out Dan Savage’s new “It Gets Better” project.

Oh, and by the way, October is National Bullying Prevention Month… Don’t just sit there, be part of the solution.

Annie Fox, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, app developer, and youth empowerment activist. Her books include Too Stressed to Think? and the Middle School Confidential series.  Learn more about Annie’s work with students, parents and teachers at http://anniefox.com

Project Gratitude and Joining the Oxygen Mask Project 11

Faith, Gratitude, The Oxygen Mask Project • Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I joined project gratitude last January and I am still grateful for many things including the fact that I can visit this beautiful place as often as I want.

This year I have been posting less and my posts have gotten further apart. I have not been commenting on other blogs as much either, as I am sure my blogging friends have noticed.

I have a confession. I have known about the oxygen mask project for a while, but I have been too busy participating in putting my oxygen mask on to write the blog post. Then I saw Spectrummy Mummy’s post, Breathing Freely after she mentioned it on Twitter and I realized that I need to write the post.

Many of you know that I fell last May and had a lumbar compression fracture as a result and later learned that my osteopenia has developed into osteoporosis. My daughter had setbacks related to prior bullying this past year too. I began to lose my positive outlook as a result.

I have always exercised and spent time in nature although in recent years I have not exercised as regularly as I should. My injury prevented me from doing this when I needed an outlet the most. Therefore, I am grateful that I am able to take long walks with my dogs again even if I now also take one of my walking poles for added balance to prevent falling when my dogs pull.

I also found myself yearning to visit the Buddhist temple, Byodo-In Temple. It is one of my favorite places on the island, but I did not feel up to going until recently.

 

It is a beautiful place to visit and one that I have visited many times. Yet, I have been away for four years. The temple, like me is older and needs some work, but it appears that they are doing the needed work and the beauty is still present.

The koi in the pond have aged and it appears some have died, but the pond has young koi now so I assume they recently restocked. Some of older koi have sores, but even they are still pretty. I hope the owners will keep the population of the koi smaller to keep them healthy.

The wild peacocks were missing, but black swans seem to have taken their place.

I am honoring my spirit and love of nature by taking pictures and by reconnecting with places on Oahu that I fell in love with years ago, but that I have not visited recently because like too many moms I have been focusing on my children when I was not working.

I am even noticing views I might not have paid much attention to in years past like the back side of the temple.

Yes, I am joining the oxygen mask project and trying to remember to take care of myself first to have more energy and a healthier spirit to take care of others. I hope you will join too if you have not already.

Seven Myths About Sensory Issues 9

Sensory Sensitivity, Special Needs • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

By Bobbi Sheahan

I appreciate the opportunity to return to D.S. Walker’s site as a guest blogger! Today, I’m back to talk about Sensory Processing Disorder, which was formerly called Sensory Integration Dysfunction.

Our senses are what we humans use to perceive. In addition to our five senses of taste, touch, smell, hearing and vision, people also perceive temperature, balance, acceleration, proprioception/kinesthesis (where one’s body is in space), and pain. When any of these “senses” are calibrated differently from the norm, it is considered a sensory difference.  These differences can rise to the level of sensory dysfunction, which can be dangerous. For example, my child seemed, for years on end, to have no sense of smell and perception of pain. Before having my daughter, I’d never thought of pain as a good thing, but it is actually an extremely good thing; pain is a useful signal that tells us to stop doing something.

I recently had the privilege of speaking with Marla Roth-Fisch, author of Sensitive Sam and a Board Member of the Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation. She was very patient with my questions. I asked her all about sensory issues, and wow, did I learn a lot about sensory challenges! I’ll now share with you some basic misunderstandings about Sensory Processing Disorder that Marla and the SPD Foundation can help us to clear up.

Myth: Sensory issues are really discipline issues. 

Truth:   When a child is hypersensitive, you may think that he’s just being high-maintenance. If, on the other hand, your child is hyposensitive, you may feel as if you are parenting a human cannonball. Often, you may see a little of both. In either event, your child isn’t doing this on purpose to annoy you, even though it may feel that way. You may just think that Johnny is a picky eater, but the truth is, you can’t “solve” a sensitive child’s issue by continuing to irritate him further. His brain is processing information differently, and he needs some help to cope with that. As parents, we have to remember that we’re trying to help our kids to be able to function, not just trying to get them to be compliant in the moment. There are all sorts of things that we can do to help. For example, if a child has a sensitivity to certain types of clothing – maybe he doesn’t want to wear jeans or clothing with labels – there are clothing companies who make nothing but soft clothing, such as www.softclothing.net . Instead of treating a sensory issue as a discipline issue, you might spend some time with a good Occupational Therapist, who can acquaint you with a sensory diet (it’s not about food – well, not JUST about food) and provide you with tools such as weighted blankets that can help your child to feel comfortable and adapt. These sorts of things can make a big difference, and I’ll bet you’ll see more pleasing  — and safe – behavior, too. As Marla Roth-Fisch explained to me, a child with SPD is special, not bad.

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Myth: For a sensory issue to be real, it should be consistent.
Truth:  Sensory issues can be very slippery!  Carol Kranowitz, in The Out of Sync Child, points out that kids can have sensory issues in one area (say, hearing or vestibular) but not another (auditory or smell for example). She also points out, “Sometimes the child will show characteristic of a dysfunction one day but not the next. For instance, the child with proprioceptive problems may trip over every bump in the pavement on Friday yet score every soccer goal on Saturday. Inconsistency is the hallmark of every neurological dysfunction.” At our house, we have a child who went from demanding dangerously-hot showers (she insisted that showers at a reasonable temperature were Cold Showers) to not really seeming to notice water temperature at all. She – and her mother — can also veer from agile to clumsy in a single bound.

Myth:  Sensory Processing Disorders are rare.
Truth:  According to the SPD Foundation, as many as one in twenty people deal with some sort of sensory integration issue. (This number may be even higher, and it appears to be on the rise.) Don’t like labels on clothes? Bugged by sounds that the person next to you doesn’t notice? Insensitive to pain? A bit of a klutz? Could be a sensory challenge. If it is, you aren’t alone. And you aren’t crazy or high-maintenance either. Sensory issues are real, and they are HUGE. Speaking for myself, I didn’t appreciate my own sensory processing differences until my daughter was diagnosed with autism. Like most kids with autism, she has a boatload of sensory differences –  although, interestingly enough, sensory issues aren’t part of the diagnostic criteria for autism. (I’ll restrain myself from digressing into that topic, but I’m tempted…)

Microsoft Office Clip Art

Myth:  There’s nothing you can do about sensory issues.
Truth:  There is more help available than you might realize! Good Occupational Therapy for SPD is fun, play-based, and family-centered. Another great jumping-off point is a lovely children’s book by Marla Roth-Fisch, called Sensitive Sam. I love this book for many reasons – the adorable illustrations, the great information, the fun rhyming format, the fact that my kid won’t give my copy back to me – but the thing that jumps out to me about the book is the fact that so many people – children and adults alike — can pick it up and have a lightbulb moment – “Hey, I do that! Thought I was the only one!” I think the word I’m looking for is accessible. It’s delightfully accessible. If we can be accepting and compassionate about our own sensory issues, we’re going to be in a much better position to help our kids understand theirs.

MicroSoft Office Clip Art

Myth:  There’s nothing good about having sensory issues.
Truth:  There’s no doubt that having one’s senses calibrated differently is a challenge, but there is lots of help for the challenges, and there is an upside too. I call them Sensory Superpowers. My daughter and my husband, for example, have sensitive hearing, but it is coupled with an ability to hyperfocus, and I have seen them accomplish amazing things as a result. Find me a genius, and I’ll bet you’ve just found someone whose senses are very acute. 

Myth:  Kids will just outgrow their sensory issues.
Truth:  Maybe they will, and maybe they won’t. If a sensory issue rises to the level of interfering with daily enjoyment of life, this is where an Occupational Therapist can be a big help.

Myth:  I don’t have sensory issues.
Truth:  Okay, this one might be true. Maybe you do, and maybe you don’t. Gifted people, and those with autism and ADHD, are more frequently diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. Lots and lots of people – including people with no other neurological or physical challenges or disabilities – have sensory sensitivities. For years, I’d say, “I have high pain tolerance,” or “I have a sense of smell like a dog,” and I did not realize that these were Sensory Superpowers.

More Resources:  Want to learn more about Sensory Processing Disorder? Lots of great resources are available at http://www.sensoryworld.com/ and Marla Roth-Fisch’s website is terrific:  http://www.sensitivesam.com/author/authorillustrator-marla-roth-fisch  Marla’s book, Sensitive Sam, and Dr. Lucy Jane Miller’s books, No More Secrets and Sensational Kids, are available from Future Horizons with a 15% discount plus free shipping when you use the checkout code BOBBI: . For a more in-depth look at the use of deep pressure, I also recommend to you an excellent article written almost twenty years ago by Temple Grandin, Ph.D., called Calming Effects of Deep Pressure in Children, College Students, and Animals, published in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology, Volume 2, Number 1, 1992, Mary Ann Liebert, Inc., Publishers, which can be found here: http://www.grandin.com/inc/squeeze.html

Bobbi Sheahan is co-author of What I Wish I’d Known About Raising a Child With Autism; A Mom and a Therapist Offer Heartfelt Guidance for the First Five Years (Future Horizons, 2011). Portions of this article are excerpted from Chapter 3 of the book, which is available at www.fhautism.com and wherever books are sold. Bobbi is also the cohost of the internationally-broadcast Autism As They Grow radio show, which broadcasts live on Wednesday nights, 9:30 Eastern/6:30 Pacific/1:30 a.m. London/Dublin and is available in archives anytime at www.talkingspecialneeds.com.