They Are Overcoming Bullying and You Don’t Know How to Respond

A Mom’s Advice During Bullying Awareness Month

First, do not avoid anyone just because you do not know what to say. Of course, you do not want to say the wrong thing and inflict more pain, but an e-mail, a card, or a voice mail saying just that can mean so much. Just knowing someone cares can provide comfort. Complete silence says no one really cares.

Second, while I appreciate that you have concern for the parent and believe me I am grateful for your support; it means more when you express your love and support for the child. Those who imply they feel sorry for the parent seem to be implying that they do not understand the severity of the pain the child is experiencing. In effect, they are implying that the child is inflicting pain on others by being wounded. This doubles the pain of the parent who knows this is not the case.

Third, if you know the child, please acknowledge her by sending a short note saying that you are thinking of her. Please realize your support matters even if the child cannot respond during this time. However, if you do not know the child, it is okay to let the parent know that you are thinking of them. All support matters to the entire family.

Lastly, please do not assume that all is magically okay when the child is no longer in the environment where the bullying took place or if she has returned to school. Deep wounds might not heal quickly despite appearances. But, if you continue to show your love and support, you will help them to heal more quickly.

I believe in the healing power of God’s love, so I like Gary Zukav’s quote.

Today I am grateful for all who are helping to educate others about ways to create a bully-free world and for those who continue to give my family love and support.

Mahalo to All of My Readers! 8

Even when you fail to comment, seeing that someone looked at my posts still warms my heart. I debated about sharing my blog stats; finally, I concluded that this is important. My family celebrates New Year’s twice since my husband and children are of Chinese descent. Therefore, sharing the fireworks now actually makes more sense.

A special Mahalo to my top five commenters in 2011. FYI Four of them are not connected to the autism community. God Bless them for continuing to have my back! Oh and they were also the first to respond to my e-mails about Miranda’s blog and three of them repeatedly commented on her blog too and the other two still read her blog and made sure I knew they understood. God bless them!

Mahalo to Charlotte from Lifes a Charm, a mom offering insights beyond her years as she raises two young boys. Mahalo to Grace from Blessed Elements, a grandmother and very creative soul, offering ideas about ways to go green to help save our planet while sharing her beautiful jewelry. Mahalo to Aspergirl Maybe, a mom sharing her journey from questioning whether she is an Aspie to the actual diagnosis. Mahalo to Karma Per Diem aka White River Bluff, who shares her amazing photography, knitting talents and stories about overcoming workplace bullying and breast cancer.

I am putting my last, top five commenter in a separate paragraph because he is probably the one who actually has the least amount of time to comment, and I owe his entire family more than I can ever adequately express. Mahalo to Phil Dzialo from Healing, Empowering, and Thriving, a retired high school principal and father, sharing his young, adult son, Adam’s story on his long road to recovery from a near drowning. He also shares my book and my blog on his site, and as a retired principal, he offers wonderful insights of how to change our school culture to overcome bullying.

Phil’s equally wonderful wife, Sharon is a former teacher and school counselor and author of a book detailing Adam’s story. She also offers her supportive insights and her positive energy through e-mails and comments too. They both literally have their hands full caring for Adam, yet they never have let me down. I haven’t actually gotten to know their daughter, Aimee except through their stories, but I admire her too.  God knows I love this family as much as I love Adam’s smiling face.

Last, but far from least, mahalo to Bobbi Sheahan, who brought the largest numbers to my blog with her two wonderful guest posts, Your Child Has Autism and I Don’t Know What to Say: Seven Ways to Go the Extra Mile to Keep Your Friendship Thriving and The Friends of Special-Needs Parents Respond and They Have a Lot to Say.

Least you missed it there are many others who helped me through 2011 including others who guest posted and who were featured on my blog. I wrote about many of them in November and December. I may still be a misfit and a small voice, but I now know at least some of you are listening because having enough views to fill the Sydney Opera House five times is no small feat.

May 2012 be a year of blessings for all of you!

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.