Eliminate the Word Tattling 4


Word Press had what is your favorite word as a prompt a few days ago.  I do not have a favorite word, but I do have a least favorite one.  Well technically I guess it is a more than one word although they are all related to the same root word and meaning.  The words are: tattling, tattle-tale, tattle.  I think we should ban them from schools after second grade and replace them with informing, telling or reporting.  The reason I say this is because bystanders are so important to the safety of victims of bullying, yet too many do not speak up for fear of being labeled a tattle-tale in addition to fearing the bully

I think these words and their connotations discourage our children from reporting bullying. Kids do not want to be labeled as a tattle-tale. I suggest instead of using the word tattling, we talk to children about when to tell and when not to tell. Reporting someone who is harming others is sometimes necessary.  For instance, if you see a child being beaten by others and no one is coming to the child’s rescue, you definitely need to find an adult to help. You also need to find a way to help when someone is repeatedly ganged up on by other children even if it is not physical.

This goes back to the post I wrote about bystanders which you can read if you missed it:

The Importance of Bystanders | dswalkerauthor.

Informing, telling, or reporting to protect someone has a better connotation than tattling. Although criminals might not like informers, most of the rest of us are grateful for them. This is especially true when they take murders and drug pushers off the street.  This is not to imply that bullies are murders or drug pushers, but honestly what they do to the most vulnerable children is almost as bad.

I also still think the schools need to reward the bystander who does speak up with a tangible reward. Let me know what you think. When you were younger would you have been more likely to report someone being mean to another child if you knew you would not be called a tattle-tale, and instead might be rewarded and maybe even be someone’s hero?

Addendum: The video originally included in this post is no longer available. Basically it was a short segment by a group teaching children about reporting versus tattling.

Revealing the Truth

Sponge Bob on the beach - Copy (2)

Here is a hint.  The day I saw Sponge Bob on the beach was several years ago.  Our beaches are wonderful though, so I would imagine Sponge Bob would enjoy lying on them at least until he needed to go back in the ocean to avoid drying out too much.

Previously I told four bold-faced lies.  Today I am revealing the truth.  You can click on the link below to find out why and what the truth really is:

Bold Faced Lies | dswalkerauthor.

Kung Hey Fat Choy 2011 7

Welcome the Year of the Rabbit!

LionHawaii’s population is approximately one third Chinese according to one of the writers for Examiner.com although that number includes those who are of mixed race like my children.  Therefore, like many homes in the islands we celebrate Chinese New Year.  Three years ago I even learned to make gau, a sticky brown sugar sweet treat made with rice flour to bring sweetness to the new year and help the family to stick together.  My mother-in-law makes the jai, a Chinese vegetarian dish for celebration of  the new lunar year.

I am grateful for my multicultural family and that we live in Hawaii where children grow up respecting multiple cultures.  The Lion belongs to my son.  My children used to pretend to perform a lion dance and ask for money from us when they were younger.  Traditionally feeding the lion money is supposed to bring one luck and wealth.  Now our lion is mostly for decoration although my two still like getting money.  Lai see is the custom of giving lucky money in special red envelops to unwed children as a symbol of good luck and wealth.

May you and yours have a year of harmony, joy, health, and prosperity!

Assault Not Bullying If Only Once? 6

Pretend FightingThose of us with boys know they love to play violent video games, but when did beating a child up for real become a spectator sport?  I hope the answer is never, but apparently to some children in California it was just that recently.

Three days ago I came across a story about a young man in California who was lured to a site where others were waiting to harm him.  This is bad enough, but the story gets worse.  You can read more about it at sacramento.cbslocal.com.  I cannot understand why this mom is not getting more help from the sheriff’s department.  I decided to investigate what California laws might apply to this incident.  First, I want you to click on criminal.findlaw.com to read a definition of assault.  Next I want you to read an explanation of California’s law at stopbully.gov.

You also need to know a new law went into effect in California in January regarding cyberbullying.  You can read about it at bullypolice.blogspot.com.  Now I am not sure if the incident happened before January or not.  However, another important fact is that everyone who opens a Facebook account agrees to their terms of agreement.  See numbers one, five, and fourteen at facebook.com/legal/terms.  Lastly, the victim has the option of suing those who posted this on Facebook.  You can read about this at blogs.findlaw.com.

I would love to know what you think.  Is the Sacramento Sheriff’s Department dropping the ball here?  What would you do if this happened to your child?