The video is by two middle school kids who want to help make a difference. Gotta love them!
However, I am not sure if this judge did enough. Read the two articles below and let me know what you think.
Seven Upper Darby Bullying Suspects Appear In Juvenile Court, One Goes To TrialCBS Philly.
Another teen admits guilt in taped bullying case | 6abc.com.
Word Press had what is your favorite word as a prompt a few days ago. I do not have a favorite word, but I do have a least favorite one. Well technically I guess it is a more than one word although they are all related to the same root word and meaning. The words are: tattling, tattle-tale, tattle. I think we should ban them from schools after second grade and replace them with informing, telling or reporting. The reason I say this is because bystanders are so important to the safety of victims of bullying, yet too many do not speak up for fear of being labeled a tattle-tale in addition to fearing the bully.
I think these words and their connotations discourage our children from reporting bullying. Kids do not want to be labeled as a tattle-tale. I suggest instead of using the word tattling, we talk to children about when to tell and when not to tell. Reporting someone who is harming others is sometimes necessary. For instance, if you see a child being beaten by others and no one is coming to the child’s rescue, you definitely need to find an adult to help. You also need to find a way to help when someone is repeatedly ganged up on by other children even if it is not physical.
This goes back to the post I wrote about bystanders which you can read if you missed it:
The Importance of Bystanders | dswalkerauthor.
Informing, telling, or reporting to protect someone has a better connotation than tattling. Although criminals might not like informers, most of the rest of us are grateful for them. This is especially true when they take murders and drug pushers off the street. This is not to imply that bullies are murders or drug pushers, but honestly what they do to the most vulnerable children is almost as bad.
I also still think the schools need to reward the bystander who does speak up with a tangible reward. Let me know what you think. When you were younger would you have been more likely to report someone being mean to another child if you knew you would not be called a tattle-tale, and instead might be rewarded and maybe even be someone’s hero?
Addendum: The video originally included in this post is no longer available. Basically it was a short segment by a group teaching children about reporting versus tattling.
Those of us with boys know they love to play violent video games, but when did beating a child up for real become a spectator sport? I hope the answer is never, but apparently to some children in California it was just that recently.
Three days ago I came across a story about a young man in California who was lured to a site where others were waiting to harm him. This is bad enough, but the story gets worse. You can read more about it at sacramento.cbslocal.com. I cannot understand why this mom is not getting more help from the sheriff’s department. I decided to investigate what California laws might apply to this incident. First, I want you to click on criminal.findlaw.com to read a definition of assault. Next I want you to read an explanation of California’s law at stopbully.gov.
You also need to know a new law went into effect in California in January regarding cyberbullying. You can read about it at bullypolice.blogspot.com. Now I am not sure if the incident happened before January or not. However, another important fact is that everyone who opens a Facebook account agrees to their terms of agreement. See numbers one, five, and fourteen at facebook.com/legal/terms. Lastly, the victim has the option of suing those who posted this on Facebook. You can read about this at blogs.findlaw.com.
I would love to know what you think. Is the Sacramento Sheriff’s Department dropping the ball here? What would you do if this happened to your child?
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I dedicate today’s post to all of the young people who have been senselessly bullied especially to those who died because they were “bullied to death.”
Asperger’s, which is a high form of autism spectrum and an “invisible” diagnosis started me on this journey, but over the last year I have become even more horrified over the way others are treating young people with any difference. I want to help put a stop to these senseless acts of cruelty. However, we also have to help those who have survived these cruel acts to heal as we try to make the world a better place.
Therefore, this is a continuation of yesterday’s topic. You can read it here.
First and foremost as their parent your job is to protect them and to help them to heal when they are hurt, so refuse to allow anyone to tell you anything differently. I know many bully prevention programs and books tell you to let your child handle things because as parents we sometimes make things worse. You can try to let your child handle things, but if this causes more problems for your child or your child cannot handle it, Don’t listen to them.
I am telling you this because most authors of the books and programs are talking about children who develop typically, otherwise known as “neurotypical” children. Once our children are emotionally wounded they cannot be expected to handle things themselves or if they do try to handle it, they may give up and internalize negative emotions when the teacher, counselor, or principal listens to the other side and decides our child needs to change to fit in better.
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Think about this for a moment. You have a vulnerable child who has been repeatedly abused emotionally and even sometimes physically by his or her classmates. The school reacts by giving the abuser detention or at the most expels the abuser for a short duration. Now the abuser comes back and tells everyone the victim is mean and got him or her in trouble. He or she does not touch the child physically and seems to no longer be bullying that child, but is that true? In the meanwhile the victim is having to meet with the counselor to learn skills to “fit-in” better. The rest of the school sees this child is different. They are fearful of being abused by the bully too and they decide to avoid the child who is different to avoid becoming the victim themselves. No amount of role-playing or counseling is going to help the victim in this case.
You can pull your child out of the school and either home school them or find another school, or you can decide to stay and work to change an ineffective system. If you decide to stay and fight, read on. If you are not staying, that is okay and you can still read further to see other options. We all have to do what is best for us and for our child.
Okay you are staying! First ask to see the school’s bully prevention policy. Next, research your local laws to see if your state has an anti-bullying law. If they don’t, check the laws that pertain to harassment, defamation of character, privacy, and to disabilities. Now contact an organization like Bully Police or a similar organization. You can find them by clicking on the link above, and they have a state-by-state contact list. They can offer suggestions and support about what your next options are. Once you arm yourself with this information go back to the school and try to get them to help.
Bullying might not go completely away overnight, but if we all work together and encourage kindness and support the victims, it will get better while they are in school. Let’s not make them wait until graduation for it to get better. That is too late!
Delightfully Different Life 