Beginning Cal’s Story 8

It is still wordless Wednesday here, but I need to say a few words as I share the outline below for the first chapter of my next novel. Much of Cal’s story takes place among the trees and birds of Hawaii, so today I am grateful for capturing a Japanese White-eye or Mejiro hiding in the banyan tree that overlooks Cal’s school. If you click on the photo to enlarge it, you might see a little green bird.

Cal is Mia’s little brother and his story begins when Mia is in fifth grade and he is third. He too has problems related to his sister’s anger after the bullying. Bullying not only affects the victim, it affects the whole family. This is what my son and I both want you to know. This is why there will be a second novel.

Chapter I: Angry Times

I. Anger

A. Mia’s not the only angry member of the family

B. My thoughts

II. Pleading my case

A. To Dad

B. To Mom

III. Venting and Acting Out

A. Getting in trouble at school

1. My friends don’t understand

2. I cannot explain

3. It sucks

B. Mom deals with it

1. Talks to teachers

2. Talks to Dad

3. Talks to me

4. Arranges for time just for me

IV. They get me and I get them

A. Support

1. From family

2. From friends

V. Light bulb Moment

A. Mia does not have this support even after Mom talks to people

B. I give Mia support

 

Bringing It All Together 9

This year I am scaling back. I will continue to be on Twitter and I will continue to post my blogs to Facebook. However, I need more time to take care of my health, to spend with my family and to work on my second novel, and I need to focus more on forgiveness and gratitude.

I am not giving up on my dreams for acceptance of differences and bully free schools. I will address the tough issues on this blog by bringing you stories of those who are helping, rather than the sad stories that the news media uses to hype up your emotions for a day or two. I also hope to do some presentations and to exhibit at some local venues this year.

I will be adding a couple of new pages to my blog, one for featured stories and one for my progress on my next novel, a topic I started addressing on my second blog. Maintaining two blogs is not working, so I plan to move my posts from my second blog to this blog.

Mahalo for your continued support as I make these changes.

Major Guilt and Buckets of Tears 16

It is either already or almost Thursday in much of the world so instead of Wordless Wednesday I share this post inspired by Breathe In Now « Try Defying Gravity.

Mistakes Made, Opportunities Missed and Guilt

I still cry sometimes over all the mistakes made and the opportunities missed. I think it is a common parental condition that comes with the autism spectrum diagnosis. I usually try to avoid talking about it publicly because I know my daughter hates to see me cry, not because she does not care, but because she cares too much. The diagnosis does not bring the tears in my case, the guilt does. All the years we failed to understand her and caused her life to be more of a struggle than it should have been bring tears.

Opportunities Missed: More Understanding, More Family Time, and More Travel

There are buckets of tears for opportunities that we missed, not for more therapy, but for more understanding, for more family time including travel that included consideration of her sensory sensitivities. The tears flow over the visits to Georgia never taken to visit my family after disastrous travel experiences due to our lack of understanding of transitional and sensory difficulties. I flew to Dad’s funeral alone when she was fourteen months old for this reason and to Mom’s bedside as she lay dying, alone again, for the same reason. I cry for all the times I failed to adequately explain to family and friends how much I wanted to be there and why I could not.

Others’ Lack of Understanding and Condemnation Including Doctors

Rivers of tears fall when I remember all the times I failed to protect her from others’ lack of understanding and from their condemnation of her and us. I cry for all the years we allowed doctors to treat her like a lab rat instead of a child with a big heart. I cry for the years we treated her differences like they are something to be ashamed of when they are not.

Seeing Her Heart

More tears for every time people have let her down and I have failed to call them on it. Many still do not see the heart of my delightful child who is now a wonderful teenager, soon to spread her wings as she blossoms into an exceptional young woman. I cry because I cannot get all those wasted opportunities back.

Cherishing Now

The best I can do is cherish the time we have today and hope and pray for more joy in her life in all of her tomorrows.  I encourage her as she shares her story, and I work to educate others so other little girls and their families benefit from our mistakes.  I work on forgiving myself and others, as I hope and pray for a future where acceptance and kindness are the norm regardless of people’s differences. I also pray everyday asking God to send his angels to watch over my family and to help heal the world.  I am grateful for the Delightfully Different Life I get to share and for the opportunity to educate others.