Dreaming of Acceptance and Understanding and Carefree Days 9


Can you see Pegasus in the clouds? Pegasus is the white-winged horse of greek mythology and a constellation. He has always been special to me. I am not really sure why. Maybe because I grew up with horses. I fell in love with Colorado before I ever moved there listening to John Denver and watching his specials, so naturally when I saw these clouds I thought of the old John Denver song, “Pegasus.”

“A kid knows what he wants to be before he’s nine or ten,
cowboys, clowns and men of war, someone else’s friend.
But nine grows into big boy’s pants and then to scars and pain.”

“…..Tell the one about the man who saddled up the wind,
Pegasus and flying fish and woodmen made of tin.
Pegasus and flying fish and woodmen made of tin.”


Do you see the flying fish? It is really a bird, but it looks like a fish doesn’t it? If you use your imagination you can see an angel just above and to the right of him.

I do not have a woodmen made of tin cloud picture, so you’ll have to use your imagination for that one.

You see in the words of Joni Mitchell, “I really don’t know clouds at all.” But, I do know that perceptions of autism frequently are illusions based on limited experience, and I know that nine and ten-year olds or anyone else should not experience bullying. I know it grows into scars and pain.

I had a dream when my daughter was born. A dream of a life filled with joy and happiness, of a house filled with her friends.  I imagined them walking to and from the mall together chatting along the way. I believed with all my heart that it would come true. The bullies and the teacher who had an illusion of Asperger’s and the long-term effects of bullying put a huge hole in my dream, but they did not destroy it.

Her future still holds promise. She dreams of leaving this island and going away to college to somewhere no one knows her. She dreams of starting fresh. She can still grow up and live a full life. She will make friends that share her interests and see her kind heart one day. Tween and teenage years are not the end of her story. I know this because I have met some of my closest friends as an adult. We share a bond of friendship stronger than teenage friends.

The world will be more understanding one day because I and others refuse to allow it to be otherwise.


  1. You are right and you are true! The world will be a better place because the more that we graciously and kindly confront the indifference of a world that treats others as an abstraction the better promise it will hold for our children and for their children. Albert Camus, a French existentialist, in L’etranger, said it well: :”I refuse to live in a world where little children suffer and die each day.”

    • Mahalo Phil. I certainly hope so, and I love the quote. Still hoping one day to actually get through to the people that aren’t listening yet.

      A good friend reminded me that for now I might only be able to change a corner of the world, but that is a start.

      • I think you’ve already changed a corner of the world. And you continue to change a little bit more of the world.

        Meanwhile, those who you’ve already changed will make changes too, spreading the love and growing the work.

        I know I wouldn’t feel quite so calm or so competent heading into this new chapter had I not met you and had we not conversed. I still have to combat that knee-jerk reaction of responding to my son’s being bullied as my parents and teachers responded to me when I was bullied, even though I know it doesn’t work and even though I know it reinforces the belief that the victim must be doing something wrong. I’ve stopped myself, taking the time to come up with thoughtful, effective responses, in part, because of you. 🙂

  2. Teen and tween years are the hardest. Once she squeezes through those, everything will come easier – not without bumps but it will be better for sure! Beautiful photo! (and the first thing I saw was the angel!)

    • The funny thing is I was just taking pictures of clouds that day and did not realize the bird flew through until later. I love when God paints pictures in the sky and the angel is my favorite.

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