Wishes and Dreams 10

We were a happy family in the spring of 2001. We were in the land where wishes and dreams all come true. Yes, I mean Disneyland, but I also am talking about our hopes and dreams for our family too.  The future looked bright.

Traveling was difficult at times even then, but we managed. That was before my daughter started kindergarten at a highly competitive school. It was prior to the diagnosis, prior to the bullying, and a decade before the term “social combat” was heard. If only, I could go back to that spring and somehow shield my daughter from all of the mistakes that followed, I would in a heartbeat.

Of course, I cannot, so instead I try to educate you so hopefully you can avoid our mistakes and the world can remain innocent for your children a little longer.  I have learned the hard way that highly competitive schools and parents who push their children to always be number one at everything inadvertently encourage “social combat.”  I want to help put an end to this.

I interact with many on Twitter who are working to prevent bullying and I keep trying to get the word out locally.  Still, it feels like I am hitting my head against a brick wall and I am not sure for what anymore.  My son already attends the school that I think is the best in the state at preventing and addressing bullying when it happens and my daughter no longer attends a brick-and-mortar school.  I am not sure if anyone even listens to what I have to say except for those who already get it.

I am not giving up, but at times I do feel like I am giving out.  I get frustrated because I have been trying to get through to people for five years and we still only have baby steps to address the problem.  I get impatient with the experts who make it sound like the latest study is “groundbreaking” when the study only confirms what I have known all this time.  Please world wakeup!  Become kinder, gentler, more supportive, and more empathic.  Save our children.  They are our future.


  1. I think the fact that the so called experts are broadcasting it is a step in the right direction even if they are just pretending that the event as just happened. At least they are adding their voice. You are very effective in your writings and I know how frustrating it can be to move slowly when something is so important to you.
    Also keep in mind that there are 10 lurkers for everyone that posts a comment.
    Hang in there!

  2. I continue to applaud your efforts to address this national epidemic. It seems that a week does not go past without a story of young person who has committed suicide because of bullying by classmates and cyber-stalkers. I think your campaign of education, writing and speaking out when united with the chorus of other voices will have an impact on bullying behaviors. My fear is that people who should hear, do not hear or choose not to hear. I fully support ever one of your efforts…your voice is a very vital one!

  3. I want you to know that I am learning from your experience. Because of you, I am more attentive and careful to my son who has just started Kindergarten. I listen for clues and signs to his joys and un-happiness in school. And with that, hopefully I could better support and help him with his dealings to school first, then life. As parents, we would love to, but we can’t fight their battles for them. But we have the best intentions and do ALL the best we can …

    Indeed, out children are the future. May we have a kinder, gentler, more supportive, and more empathic world for our children’s sake!

    “You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

  4. dont give out please – you are just a phenomenal person
    This struck such a chord with me “If only, I could go back to that spring and somehow shield my daughter from all of the mistakes that followed, I would in a heartbeat”
    I read a line in Vicki Forman’s “lovely life” – she said “Mothers believe that they can prevent anything bad from ever happening to their child if only they pay enough attention”
    Its my cross to bear as well –

    • Yes, it is sad when we realize we cannot always protect them. I took off most of Monday to regroup. It helped, but I definitely wish there
      were more progress with bullying prevention and with supporting the victims too.

  5. Don’t “give out”! Every day it seems like I see more and more focus being put on bullying. I know, at times, it seems as if you’re fighting an uphill battle, but keep on fighting girlfriend–don’t “give out”!

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