Tag Archives: Kindness

Did You Show the World Kindness Today?

Differences, Famous Quotes, Gratitude • Tags: ,

Yes, my daughter and I collected Beanie Babies.

I’m sure you did. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our lives and slip into bad habits, but I plan to do my best to be kind everyday. I hope all of you will too.

This month I have been walking down memory lane with my daughter as we both cleaned out our closets. We are having some home repairs done. It is never fun to have people working in your home, but when you work from home and your child attends school on-line, it adds a whole different dimension especially when you throw in two dogs that bark every time someone walks in and out of the house or even by them.

This was our life all last week even on Election Day. The work was to continue this week, but due to unforeseen events, it has not. Work will resume next week and will not be completed until sometime the week after Thanksgiving. That week we will also have roofers working outside.

Yet, I know compared to those hit by Hurricane Sandy, we are fortunate. Reminding myself of this is how I survived last week and the delays. Plus, going down memory lane with my daughter had been fun even if the inconvenience is not.  My home will once again return to normal when the work is completed. So many do not have that option on the East Coast. I’m still sending prayers to them.

I know all of you will continue to extend a helping hand where you can. I will too.

I find I cannot be on the Internet as much. Crazy things like the comments prior to our presidential election, and some of the responses post-election have me shaking my head. I do not understand meanness or intolerance to groups of people. The reaction to political and religious differences my country is showing to the world is an embarrassment.

It does clearly explain why our children have so many problems with kindness and acceptance of differences. I will not say more on the subject because I really do need to be kind even to those who cannot see how their words wound others or how their actions have the potential to inflict deeper wounds on our nation.

Instead I leave with this picture and thought.

©dswalkerauthor.com

Eliminate the Word Tattling 4

Bully Free, Bullying, Life Lessons, Parenting, Principals, Schools, Teachers • Tags: , , , ,


Word Press had what is your favorite word as a prompt a few days ago.  I do not have a favorite word, but I do have a least favorite one.  Well technically I guess it is a more than one word although they are all related to the same root word and meaning.  The words are: tattling, tattle-tale, tattle.  I think we should ban them from schools after second grade and replace them with informing, telling or reporting.  The reason I say this is because bystanders are so important to the safety of victims of bullying, yet too many do not speak up for fear of being labeled a tattle-tale in addition to fearing the bully. 

I think these words and their connotations discourage our children from reporting bullying. Kids do not want to be labeled as a tattle-tale. I suggest instead of using the word tattling, we talk to children about when to tell and when not to tell. Reporting someone who is harming others is sometimes necessary.  For instance, if you see a child being beaten by others and no one is coming to the child’s rescue, you definitely need to find an adult to help. You also need to find a way to help when someone is repeatedly ganged up on by other children even if it is not physical.

This goes back to the post I wrote about bystanders which you can read if you missed it:

The Importance of Bystanders | dswalkerauthor.

Informing, telling, or reporting to protect someone has a better connotation than tattling. Although criminals might not like informers, most of the rest of us are grateful for them. This is especially true when they take murders and drug pushers off the street.  This is not to imply that bullies are murders or drug pushers, but honestly what they do to the most vulnerable children is almost as bad.

I also still think the schools need to reward the bystander who does speak up with a tangible reward. Let me know what you think. When you were younger would you have been more likely to report someone being mean to another child if you knew you would not be called a tattle-tale, and instead might be rewarded and maybe even be someone’s hero?

Addendum: The video originally included in this post is no longer available. Basically it was a short segment by a group teaching children about reporting versus tattling.

Bravery in the Family 16

Bullying, Family, Life Lessons, Parenting • Tags: , , , , ,

 

There are three people I love dearly who have all shown unbelievable bravery in their lives.  The first one is my dad who fought in WWII and Korea, but that is not what made him brave to me.  The other two are my own children.

The first time I personally witnessed bravery was when I was a little girl.  I awoke to a loud banging noise that would not stop, and then I heard my parents’ voices.  My mom was begging my dad not to go outside.  I got out of bed to see what was going on.  Mom was crying and Dad was saying, “Lock the door behind me and call the police,” as he stepped out the door closing it firmly behind him.

Mom locked the door and opened her arms wide as I ran to her.  I hugged my mom as she dialed the phone and I heard Dad yell through the door to Mom, “Tell them someone has been badly beaten and is bleeding.”  Next I heard my dad telling someone on the other side of the door, “I can’t let you into my house because I have young children, but my wife is calling the police to get help, and I will stay here with you until they come.  Whoever did this seems to have left.  I saw a car speed away when I opened the door.”

Later I asked my dad why he risked his own life by opening the door.  He replied, “Sue, if I were injured wouldn’t you want someone to help me?  A long time ago a friend helped me and the only repayment he would accept was a promise that I would help someone else.”

Over the years I observed my dad helping others including repairing their cars when they came off our exit on the freeway only to learn that the nearest station was another eight miles away.  He never accepted payment for doing this even when he had to drive somewhere to get auto parts.  He always told them the same thing, “Just help someone else one day.”  My dad did this his whole life and what better way to teach your children kindness than by being kind yourself.  How I wish everyone in this world were like this!

I do not know if I have set as good of an example for my children, but I am trying and I think for the most part I am doing a good job of raising them.  I will tell you a little about them and you can decide.

My daughter gave me permission to write Delightfully Different to help others as long I made it a work of fiction.  I think this is very brave because I know how hard it was for her.

My son who observed everything that happened to his sister refused to be mean to another boy at school when a group of boys he has known since kindergarten started being mean to this boy.  The boy told them my son is his friend and when the “bullies” asked my son if this is true, he replied, “Yes.”  Some of these boys have picked on him as a result, but my son has kept his integrity which I think is way more important than remaining friends with mean kids.

Let me know what you think.  Do you teach kindness to your children despite what other parents do?

Addendum: Much has changed since I originally posted this. My daughter left the school of her dreams due to their failures, but not before she made the brave decision to tell the high school dean her decision herself. She had the dean in tears, but this did not change the outcome.

That dean has since left the school and they the former headmaster has too. We are working to get an apology for my daughter that we want placed in her permanent record to explain that the failures were not hers.

She blogged her heart out and became #15 on Babble.com’s top autism blogs. She has since stopped blogging and worked hard to overcome the long-term effects of bullying. She wants to escape this island environment where she cannot go anywhere without running into someone who knows her. She wants to start fresh.

You can help her accomplish this goal by sharing our story and purchasing my novel. Right now her dream college is out of our budget. BTW: We live on an island in the middle of the Pacific, so the only way she can go away is to pay out-of-state tuition.